Friday, November 17 10 p.m. "My love is your love, and your love is my love ..." This Whitney Houston ditty was the first thing we heard upon entering the JMU police car. Yes, the police officers listen to Q101 too! We know this because we spent a Friday night riding through the mean streets of campus with JMU cops. As citizens, we wanted to see exactly what the police do, from their perspective. We couldn't wait to taunt raging party-goers from the safety of the cruiser. But as we were told by Sgt. Hess that night, police work is "90 percent boredom and 10 percent the best adrenaline rush you'll ever have in your life."

When we first arrived, Sgt. Hess (but we could call him by his first name, "Doyle"), a five-year veteran of the force, gave us a tour of the better half of Shenandoah Hall, showing us where mug shots are taken, where evidence is analyzed and where officers vend. We then went outside to the sleek, white unmarked car that would be our chariot for the night. This rugged ride took us everywhere we needed to go, including dirt roads, campus sidewalks and down Greek Row. The exterior gave no indication as to what that car could really do! In addition to the radio and CD player, the car had police radios, blue lights, a siren (with settings ranging from "wail" to "yelp" to "hyperyelp") and a cute red Nokia cell phone.

Our ride began with a turn that would become very familiar to us by the end of the night, a left onto Bluestone Drive. Campus was pretty quiet, and Doyle explained that the cold weather was probably discouraging walkers. He drove us around campus, showing us what areas are included in the department's jurisdiction. As we drove over the Reservoir Street bridge (which is part of their jurisdiction, by the way), a call came over the radio regarding "six suspicious persons climbing the fence at UREC." We hightailed it over to the turf, where sure enough, six crazies were tossing a football around the pitch black field. They turned out to be local high school punks, pretending they had hit the big time at JMU. And when we rolled up with the headlights off, they were scared shitless. When they saw Doyle approach, they started to make a break for it, but they were cornered by officers on the other side. BUSTED!

Our First Arrest Our ride continued back toward the South Main Street area. We cruised past Pi Kappa Alpha and Kappa Delta Rho and noticed a young man getting behind the wheel of a car with an open beer in his hand. We waited to see what Doyle would do, but since it was out of his jurisdiction, he just made a left back onto South Main and headed back toward Shenandoah Hall. He got into the turning lane, but after a few seconds, cut back into traffic and turned on the blue lights. We weren't sure what he was doing, but then we saw the same car from Harrison Street in front of us. The clown had entered Doyle's jurisdiction! We were impressed by his stealthy move. He pulled the car over, and the driver tried to deny having the beer in the car. But when he realized Doyle and the Turf editors had all seen him with the evidence, he gave it up pretty quick. Too bad he couldn't give his license up as quick — it was suspended! This local turned out to be on probation for selling crack cocaine. SHAKEDOWN, SHAKEDOWN! YOU'RE BUSTED! There was no way out of this one — he was carted off to jail by the back-up officer on the scene. Chalk another one up to the good guys. After the excitement died down, we kept moving.

A call came in about two extremely intoxicated persons passed out in a Garber bathroom, but to our dismay, another officer took that one. Doyle kept us entertained with stories of his experiences with JMU bad boys (and girls!). He's been assaulted by students on two different occasions. On one occasion, Doyle drove the unmarked car up to a group of students in the Village. They were surrounding a female passed out on the pavement, and before he had a chance to exit the car, a girl standing right in front of him finished off her beer, crumpled the can, and tossed it into the bushes. Doyle remembers thinking, "Oh, this is too easy!" He exited the car and told her she was under arrest, and prepared to aid the victim on the ground. But the girl wasn't having it. She took off running, and when Doyle caught up, the young wench began to fight him! No problem — Doyle gently wrestled her to the ground, and her Chyna dreams were over. But the danger didn't stop there — a group of chivalrous young men, outraged at his treatment of the girl, tried to jump him too! But back-up had arrived by then, and no more violence ensued.

Another time, an 18-year-old high school student here for a visit was raising a ruckus on Greek Row, and when Doyle and another officer tried to apprehend him, he started fighting like a wildcat. Doyle was bitten and kicked in the scuffle, and the teen punk ended up in jail for a month as a result of his bravado! No need to recount this young street slug's vote — as a result of his felony, he lost his chance to vote for the rest of his life. Doyle then needed to run to the jail to finish up some paperwork for the earlier arrest.

We were anxiously awaiting the opportunity to see the inside of the jail, but we were denied admission. Media visitors have to be pre-approved before gaining access. Doyle left the radio on for us while he ran in, and we relaxed to the sounds of Ricky Martin. When he got back, we discussed certain aspects of campus safety, particularly the campus cadet service and the blue lights. Doyle told us that the cadets are a Godsend since they provide so many extra pairs of eyes and see things that the officers might otherwise miss. And he encourages female students to use the escort service provided by the cadets. They will be more than happy to walk you to your destination. The blue lights, however, are another story. "On paper and to the administration it looks good, but they're just not getting used," Doyle said. Most of the calls received from the phones are pranks, but officers still have to respond anyway, in the same way that a fire department has to respond every time a freshman hambone pulls the fire alarm.

Suddenly we heard something over the radio — a student had been stabbed in the chest on Devon Lane. Since that is Harrisonburg PD's jurisdiction, we didn't go, but Doyle was active in going to Rockingham Memorial Hospital to identify the student as "one of ours," and get more information. When a student is seriously injured, the administration is notified as soon as possible. Doyle had the responsibility of calling JMU Chief of Police Lee Shifflett to give him the bad news. In the interim, we rolled up toward the Modular Building, where a pick-up sat idling with Maryland plates and two lovebirds in the cab. They took off as soon as we approached. Doyle pulled them over, and laughed as he found out that he had interrupted their time alone. As 2 a.m. approached, Doyle aimed us back toward Shenandoah Hall. His shift wasn't ending until 3, but Alex and I were only riding for four hours.

We couldn't believe how fast the time went and how enjoyable the night had been. Doyle was great — funny, charismatic, knowledgeable, and from what we saw, fair. He was very observant and aware of things we never would've noticed. Campus seems pretty sinister from the vantage-point of a police car, but officers like Doyle keep us safe. If he is any indication of the rest of the 21 JMU police officers, we are lucky to have them here at our service. Remember, they are Public Safety, not Public Enemy. And give the tired old cop jokes a rest — we didn't once stop at Dunkin' Donuts.