Blimpies
by Keisha Banks

Blimpies, the place Nate, Billy and Nick call work, has JMU spirit coming out of its ass. At first glance Blimpies is a cozy place made to cater to JMU's drunkards, but is it really? Is that Duke Dog on the wall saying hello, or is he growling in parental disgust at your drunkenness? Walk into Blimpies when the inebriation kicks in and ask yourself that question again. And it's not just the dog — check out the sign behind the deli glass that whines "Please don't ask the employees to vary from the menu." If you can't vary from the menu you might as well eat PB&J at home. How often does one get the opportunity to marry banana peppers, mustard, mayo, fresh cut meat and cheese and even heat the whole concoction? Certainly not at home! But aside from the corporate hoo-ha Blimpies is great for a late night snack, especially considering they are open 24 hours. And be sure to tip the deli guys (or join the "Buy Blimpies Guys Beer Foundation" as they have dubbed it); your change can really add up. They made $100 during Homecoming weekend. And if you're really nice they might even vary from the menu. Unfortunately, if you're a sex fiend Blimpies might not be the place for you. Not only is the porn tucked away in a corner all by itself but their condom selection leaves much to be desired. But for good deli conversation and great sandwiches, Blimpies is Duke-a-licious!

Neighbors
by Keisha Banks

Let's face it, no one goes to Neighbors Convenience Store for their imitation beer cave. People go there because their neighbors are great. How can you go wrong being right next to Dave's Express and Dairy Queen? That's just it, you can't. And that is how Neighbors mooched its fame. Neighbors is just your run of the mill convenience store until you get to the imitation beer cave. If you aren't much of a Beast drinker (like yours truly) then Neighbors is the place for you. Not only does Neighbors carry all of the staple party beers, but it also has a wide selection of exotic bottled beers and wine coolers. A few to try — Blue Moon, Saranac, Dos Equis, Cider Jack and Crimson Voodoo. Neighbors also has an above-average condom selection with all the popular Trojan variations and one type of Durex and the ever-popular Rough Rider for the older crowd. But the thing that most impressed me about Neighbors was their foresight to sell limes in the beer cooler right next to the Coronas, and to be risqué enough to put the porn out on the shelf above the regular magazines!

Mike's Chevron
by Cyprian Mendelius

Whatever you want, whatever you need, Mike's Chevron will always be there. Also known as "The Keg Store," and simply "Mike's," this mecca of beer, wine and convenience items is definitely the place to go for anything. Conveniently located right next to campus on South Main Street in between Theatre II and the CCM House, this beverage bodega falls within walking distance for on-campus cravers and within short reach for commuters off-campus.

Outside, students pump gas and fill their tires with air. Inside, students line up every weekend to purchase kegs and cases of beer. Mike's carries about every name brand of beer you can think of ... and plenty of it. The entire back room is filled with cases and cases of various alcoholic beverages. Whether your taste is for Red Stripe, Sierra Nevada, Bad Frog, Blue Moon or the infamous Beast, Mike's Chevron will surely have plenty of it in many different varieties. Winos will definitely enjoy the variety of flavors in the Mad Dog and Wild Irish Rose brands. And for those of us who are just trying to keep it street, they've got frosty bottles of Ol' E and Crooked I, just like the corner store back home.

Of course it's not all about alcohol. Mike's is also a local favorite Gatorade stop. Juices, sodas and other drinks can be easily found in cans or bottles, room temperature or cold, individual or bulk. Ready-made sandwiches from Mr J.'s grace the refrigerators along with frozen foods and dairy products. Like any respectable convenience store, they carry milk, bread and other basic necessities. Mike's is the perfect stop for snacks and drinks on the go.

Probably the best aspect of this wonderful little shop is the service. As soon as you walk through the door, you find a smile and hello. Serviced by the coolest guys and the friendliest girls on campus, you never have trouble finding what you're looking for. Confused students and young adults who have trouble with organization will truly appreciate how the employees readily lead you to what you're looking for, and even offer to help carry it. Thugs will surely change their ice-grills to silly grins when upon bringing a case of forties to the counter, the cat behind the counter humbly offers to switch it for a cold one from the back freezer. After walking out of Mike's Chevron, you leave with a sense of hope, and feel a little more complete.

Main Street Sheetz
by Deborah Armusewicz

As far as local convenience stores go, Main Street Sheetz is like no other. Along this dull strip, Sheetz is an oasis of glittering pumps, a beer cave, and a lovely dining area. As you proceed from car to buiding, the bright lights and PA system make you feel welcome. Upon entering, you might be a little overwhelmed. Coffee, magazines, novelty toys, beverages of all kinds, donuts, snacks, and many other items crowd the shelves. If you are only on a beer run, take a minute to breathe deep and collect your bearings as you enter the cool quiet of the beer cave. They have a great selection and you can make your choices in peace. If you're looking to satisfy your hunger, make your way over to the high-tech computerized ordering system.

Diners have the option of Bullets or Sheetz. I recommend Bullets, particularly the milkshakes. The system is user-friendly, and the food is delicious. It is perfect for the social outcast or mute. Don't worry, the employees are accurate and adept, even though they may not look at you once. If you aren't in a rush, nosh in a booth overlooking South Main Street. Maintained in its own little enclave, the dining area provides privacy and an understated elegance — rare qualities in convenience stores. While it may be a little off the beaten path, a trip to Main Street Sheetz is worth it, whether you live in Olde Mill or Fox Hill.

University Boulevard Sheetz
by Alex Vessels

I've been visiting the Sheetz near ISAT since I was a freshman living in Blue Ridge Hall trodding through snow to get food when school was closed. Three years later, things still haven't changed much. When you walk in, you'll have to find your own line, as good help can be hard to find. Another permanent fixture of this Sheetz is a sassy submaking man who won't hesistate to cop a 'tude when a bunch of students stumble in after a night of merrymaking. "Y'all so drunk!," you'll hear him exclaim as he mutters under his breath while making your food.

Still, I have limited complaints because this is the only Sheetz near JMU where a new "shmiscuit" is featured on the menu. This buttery flaky biscuit will have you hooked in no time, even if you are embarrassed to say "shmiscuit" aloud. Couldn't they just have called it a biscuit? The downside of this Sheetz is the limited space, and it doesn't have a Bullets or a sitting area. SMAD kids like me are used to hanging out with the SMAD lab crew at 3 a.m. on Main Street. But, for a flaky buttermilk shmuscuit, I think I can handle the change.