1. Go out with your ugliest friends.
You don't want all your playboy buddies stealing your game, ask Gary P. from the first floor to accompany you. Next to slobs, you'll look like Freddie Prinze, Jr. when everybody gets boozed enough.

2. Talk to as many girls as possible.
This form of reverse psychology will have chicks clamoring for your attention. One at a time, ladies!

3. Select a lady to be your beer pong partner.
The more you lose, the closer she gets. Haaaaay!

4. You may be dancing to "Too Close," but save the "lil poke" for later.
No girl likes an eager beaver jabbing her in the thigh. Keep her guessing. Use duct tape if need be.

5. Send Gary P. over to talk to her man-hating friend.
That way she won't feel obligated to stay by that bitch Judy's side all night. You don't want her to have any distractions.

6. Once you leave, any place will do. You're freshmen.
If Mike already has a tie on the door, take her down to the study lounge. Be creative, go to someone else's bed if you have to.

7. Tell her you'll call. But don't!

2. Once you go black, you'll never go back.
The most essential part of any street walker's uniform is black pants and black boots. To stand out from the rest, just add some glitter. If you want a surefire hit, try snakeskin pants.

3. Roll at least 25 deep.
You'll definitely get noticed when you and your entire floor (except that nerdy girl, she totally doesn't have the look) take the shoulder by storm. Watch out for that construction! Walk in order from cutest to plainest. You don't want them casting shadows on you!

4. Make the guys from your dorm walk in the back.
You don't want any hot member of the soccer team thinking fatso Gary P. from first floor is your man. Make his fat-ass walk in the back, he'll never catch up.

5. Always scream when you cross the street.
That way, if someone doesn't see you, they'll hear your horrified screams right until you get a Jeep grill up your ass. Flailing arms help too. Don't drop your drink!

6. On your way home from Ashby, stop by Olde Mill.
If you didn't get any at Port Rd. apartment complexes, there's always a lot of ready and willing guys at Olde Mill Village. Dance with them to Next's "Too Close" and you'll "feel a little poke" coming through too!

7. If you can't find anyone, I'm sure Gary P. is still up.