We've all seen him, cruising through East campus with his 30-pound bookbag on his back, his helmet, and most importantly, his scooter. However, Ben Schumin is not well-known simply because of his mode of transportation. In case you've been ignoring the fact that we live in the technology age, you've probably seen his infamous Web site, where he chronicles everything from trips to Wal-Mart to falling off his scooter. Never willing to miss the opportunity to expose a campus icon, Turf has the exclusive interview with this rising web star.

TURF: Please state your full name for the record.
SCHUMIN: It's Benjamin Franklin Schumin.

T: Are you aware that typing your name into www.altavista.com yields at least 10 hits?

S: Oh yeah. I type my name in occasionally. It seems like I'm pretty well-known.

T: Do you make a conscious effort to be known around campus or is that just something that ended up happening?

S: It really ended up happening. I have my logo and web address up on my door and I wear my T-shirt from time to time, but I really don't go out and hand out flyers or do any constant marketing of myself.

T: Some people have mentioned that you talk to a lot to people that you don't know.

S: Yeah, I do occasionally. I'm very friendly and I'll say hello to people. You get to know people very well that way.

T: Have you ever considered running for any kind of office at JMU?

S: I actually have run for Hall Council both my freshman and sophomore years. The interesting thing is that I lost both elections. I ran for president in McGraw-Long my first year, and I ended up losing. I ended up being the McGraw-Long Webmaster and I made a hall newsletter that was e-mailed to everyone every Sunday. In Potomac (Hall) I ran for publicity chair, did not get it initially, but then later they got a second publicity chair.

T: Do you have a favorite TV show?

S: "The Golden Girls."

T: Who's your favorite character?

S: Rose. Rose Nylund. I was talking to my mom over break and I said "Which Golden Girl do you think I'm most like?" And she said, "Rose." And it's kind of true.

T: Do you have any interesting stories about your scooter? Does it have a name?

S: My scooter does not have a name except for "My Scooter." Interesting stories, let's see. The fact that I had eight accidents during the course of the fall semester.

T: Were you hurt in any of these accidents?

S: During finals week, I was heading to a final going down the Village, and the day before, my rear wheel, the middle part was broken and the rear wheel tore in two in front of Huffman Hall, the wheel fell away and I fell forward. I landed on my front and I scraped my upper lip and I got a blood blister on my left hand and an open cut on my right hand. I destroyed the right knee of my jeans and I scraped my right knee real bad.

T: Did anyone see the accident? Was it mortifying?

S: Oh yeah, it was witnessed by a whole bunch of people. I didn't really care about what people saw or thought. It was mainly a matter of, OK, I need to get up, I need to grab the scooter because I'm going to be late for a final, I wasn't worried about being hurt. I ended up hobbling over to Mr. Chips and washing off the blood.

T: What's your favorite place to eat on campus?

S: I love D-hall. My favorite thing to eat at D-hall has to be the waffles. Where else in the world can you eat Belgian waffles the size of a plate and an inch thick, three meals a day?

T: So what kind of music do you listen to?

S: Tom Lehrer is my current favorite artist. Tom Lehrer has written such songs as "The Vatican Rag," "The Masochism Tango," "Poisoning Pigeons In The Park" and "I Hold Your Hand In Mine."

T: What kind of music does he play?

S: He plays the piano and sings. In music stores it's listed as comedy and it is really funny.

T: The quintessential Turf question. What's on Ben Schumin's mix tape?

S: Tom Lehrer's "I Hold Your Hand In Mine," "Hatten Ardin" by Azar Habib, "The One You Love" by Valdy, and the theme song to "The Price Is Right." And probably "Celestial Sodapop" by Ray Lynch.

T: Do you listen to pop music?

S: People will IM me and say 'you should listen to this song.' Have you ever heard the Britney Spears clip [an audio outake of Spears cursing backstage] from "Rockin' Rio?" I did indirectly have something to do with it. Somebody doctored it and you hear a voice that says "Hello, this is Ben Schumin at schuminweb.com. If you're a college-aged girl, or boy, that's fine too, you can e-mail me and visit my Web site at www.schuminweb.com. You can also use AOL Instant Messenger to IM me, my screen name is Schuminweb." Someone sent me an angry IM saying "How dare you doctor this file?" And I said, "What are you talking about?" They said, "Didn't you do the Britney Spears "Rockin' Rio" mp3?" "Uh, no. Can you send me this file?" So I listened to it and I was like "WHOA!"

T: Were you upset about it?

S: I was more shocked than anything.

T: What was your reaction to being named "Geek of the Month" in the June 2000 issue of Front magazine (a British, Maxim-esque publication) Did you have any reaction to that?

S: My reaction initially was "You're kidding." I had been told in an e-mail that I was featured in Front so I eventually acquired the magazine. And they ran my picture so it was copyright infringement. So I could sue them. I talked to my business law professor but he said that my lawyer fees would exceed the damages, so I decided not to go to court. I decided that I would just enjoy it.

T: Were you offended?

S: I was more surprised than anything. It's pretty hard to offend me.

T: What does a girl at JMU need to do to get inside your pants?

S: No girl at JMU will get inside my pants! No one at JMU will! No girl will get inside my pants because I am a firm believer of abstinence until marriage.

T: Does Ben Schumin currently have a love interest?

S: I have not been actively seeking. My mother thinks I'll get married when I'm 30 or something because she thinks I'm a late bloomer.

T: Have you ever thought about growing a mullet?

S: What is a mullet?

T: It's a hairstyle that is short on the top and sides and longer in the back. All the employees at Wal-Mart have them.

S: My sister used to have something like that! Her hair is so thick and she had it like that.

T: That's called a femullet. Have you ever heard of mulletsgalore.com?

S: I haven't. I was never sure what a mullet was. I didn't know my sister had one of those.

T: There's a rumor that you caused the Forest Hills riot. Is that true?

S: No. I was not there and I had not heard about it until it was in The Breeze. My mother asked if I had heard anything about it and I was like "What are you talking about?" She was like, "This is the good thing about having a son who's a dud. You know he'll never get arrested."

For much more information on Ben Schumin, visit his Web site at: www.schuminweb.com