We Love the Nightlife!

Reviews by: Keisha Banks, Dan Fatton, Kelly Manion, & Paul Rowe

     Tuesday night and 25-cent wings aren't the only reason to head to Buffalo Wild Wings for a night on the town, though they do help. Try visiting them on a weeknight and the crowd is laid back in attire, usually just whatever you wore to class for the day, and more hard core drinkers than partyers. On Thursday nights you're most likely to see a live singer, but keep in mind that B-Dubs is a sports bar and if there is a big game on the singer will be postponed until after triple overtime. If you have a split group where some kids are underage, BW3 is a good spot to check out. You can sit on the restaurant side and drink while you tease your under-21 friends, or ditch them and hang on the bar side. For this reason BW3 is a popular place to bring a friend who is celebrating their 21st birthday. Actually, the best reason to bring your drinking "virgins" to BW3 for their first legal round to BW3 is a little red drink served in an ashtray with lots of whipped cream and, if the "virgin" is lucky, between the legs of the hottest (or nearest willing) girl at the bar. That drink has been dubbed "The Cunnilingus," and is a favorite to friends of "virgins" because not only can you see your friend be embarrassed in front of the whole bar but you'll most likely be witnessing the closet he'll come to getting laid before he passes out!

Scene: Fancies itself a sports bar, but the folk musicians and trivia games attract a more diverse crowd. You'll find everyone from jocks to hippies at this JMU favorite.
Hot nights: Tuesdays and Thursdays attract many students, weekends can get a bit town-y
True stories: Not much drama here... once at BW3, Alex's "Ready to Die" CD was stolen from the folds of his sweater.

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Biltmore Review:
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     I had heard a lot of talk about Thursdays at the Biltmore, and the illusion of cheap pitchers of beer and dancing were enough to entice me into the shower and out the door. However, I hadn't expected a line. When I arrived around 11 P.M. there was already a startlingly long line formed. The capacity had already been reached, which would become incredibly obvious when I finally gained admission to this overcrowded, overpriced and overrated restaurant/bar.

     I happened upon my friend Stacy in line and bitched about having to wait to get into a Harrisonburg bar. One girl came out and one of us was allowed to enter. Stacey and her friends urged me to go in and I proceeded in through the doorway and presented my proof of age. "Did you say he could go ahead?" the meatheaded bouncer barked in my ear. After my friends' assurances, Sloth glanced at my identification before burping some nasty Chinese food burps and bragging. Managing to step over the meathead's power trip, my estimated time of arrival was 11:30.

      I worked my way through the crowd and attacked the bar from its lower right flank. I ran into some beautiful sorority sisters and a half hour later I managed to get a bartender to sell me my first beer. It had only been an hour since I first pulled in the parking lot. Perhaps others more trained than I in the fine art of getting a bartender's attention were capable of getting a beer quicker, but I have had a lot of practice at a lot of different bars, and these bartenders were slow.

     I guess my biggest mistake was going to buy a beer before I looked around for my friends, but when I finally made it out to the dance floor, I realized not only were my friends not dancing, but no one was. I still don't understand exactly what happened to those friends that made me pinky swear to go to the Biltmore, but at 12:30 I decided to try and salvage my night by searching for more Thursday night craziness.

     In summary, cheap pitchers are only attainable if there are pitchers in which to pour the beer, and a quantity of people rarely brings quality. I would stick with Highlawn on Thursday and Biltmore on Tuesday. The Biltmore Grill has all you can eat boneless buffalo tenders, "thumbs and toes," on Tuesday nights. Writing this article, I surprised myself with my amount of griping. But I swear I could've complained even more if I had reviewed apartment parties; I'm from New Jersey, I was born to bitch.

Scene: Throngs of Greeks and other Zane Showker students crowding into a pretentious and overrated atmosphere.
Hot nights: Tuesdays if you want to eat, Thursdays if you want to be a scenester and don't mind the waits, the crowds, and the lack of music.
True stories: The bouncers are ornery (unlike the lovelies at BW3), and we once witnessed a young man pull down his pants and scandalize those of us dumb enough to be waiting on line.

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Highlawn Review:
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     A relatively new addition to the JMU bar scene, located next to the mall on Evelyn Byrd Avenue, Harrisonburg's Highlawn Pavilion has come into its own since it replaced the failing Blue Foxx Cafe last year.

     The bar is at its most popular among JMU students on Thursday nights, which features Ladies Night, with Tuesdays coming in a close second. Between 9 and 11 P.M. the line is usually very long so people are advised to come really early or really late, which, like the line, can be inconvenient. The bar, which is a full-service restaurant during the day, requires two forms of ID for admittance during its evening hours. A sign beside the entrance advises "Proper Attire," the definition of which is uncertain if you've ever visited the place on a Saturday night, something not advised for the average JMU student. That is unless you're in the mood to hang out with a bunch of 40-year-old townies dressed in flannel shirts, jogging pants, and sprouting mullets.

     Because it is arranged in a way that seems rather inefficent, with the main bar protruding out into the center of the mingling space, navigation can prove difficult at times.

     Senior Adam Thompson had a similarly negative reaction. "Highlawn sucks. Every time I go I can't move because my feet stick to the floor from all the beer that is spilled, like at a frat party."

     The fact that a significant majority of Highlawn regulars are fraternity and sorority members contributes to the atmosphere of the place, helping to make tube tops, black pants and khakis the apparel of choice. Another common complaint is the closing procedures. Instead of announcing last call calmly and allowing customers to leave at a leisurely pace, all lights are turned on immediately at 1:45 am and people are herded out like cattle as quickly as possible, their drinks often taken away before they are given a chance to finish.

     Senior Rob Fox gives the place thumbs up on at least one thing. "At least there are a lot of good looking girls." But whether you think it's overrated or worth the wait like the numerous people who wait outside its doors on certain nights, Highlawn's popularity appears to be growing among the JMU crowd.

Scene: More diverse than Biltmore but not as much as BW3, Highlawn attracts a good mix of fairly attractive students. While it isn't exactly "New York style," it's still a fun place to drink and dance.
Hot nights: Thursdays... avoid weekends at all costs, unless it is a Greek event.
True stories: Our homosexual friend was approached by a nubile young woman interested in adding him to her menage-a-trois.

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Bricks Review:
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     Are the keg lines not as fun as they used to be? Is beer pong no longer the Olympic-style enjoyment that it once was? Do you just need a break from the monotonous JMU-style partying? Then come on down to the next "Drag Show" at Bricks, Harrisonburg's only gay club.

     This past show on Jan. 27 was a sight to behold. Nothing tops a weekend like having a very well-disguised man get up on stage and belt out "That don't impress me much" for money. The bar was jumping and the place was fairly crowded, with more than 100 people showing up. The show started off with the emcee, Ms. Gay Harrisonburg, getting the crowd going. She got on stage and yelled, "Gimme some attitude!" Immediately someone replied, "Come on bitch!" and everyone started laughing. It was just that kind of night.

     As a straight man, I was a little nervous about going to a gay club, but it was very laid back and fun, and I didn't get hit on. Of course that may simply mean that I am unattractive, and studlier gents should watch out, but even so, I and the two girls I was with felt very comfortable.

     All in all, thirteen queens got on stage separately, swing their hips to such ballads as "Stand Back" by Stevie Nicks, "Sweet Dreams" by the Eurythmics, and Lara Fabian's "I Will Love Again." While a queen was on stage, people would put money in the air, and she would grab it from them. The proceeds went to the AIDS Valley Network charity, and more than $1500 was raised. The next show is in early May, and will be put on by Ms. Gay Shenandoah Valley.

Scene: Harrisonburg's attempt at a gay club, Bricks features Top 40 techno remixes and an LGBT-friendly atmosphere.
True stories: Deb was ejected from Bricks one night when showing up to meet friends there. According to the owner, women were not allowed in on that particular evening. Nice way to treat the biggest hag at JMU!
Hot nights: Drag show nights, men/women only nights