Player's Anthem: Female

by Keisha Banks & Cristin Palumbo

     Welcome to the year 2001. As far as we know, this is no longer the 1920s. Back then showing your ankles and other "unlady-like" behavior, would land you a job in the county whorehouse. Luckily for us, we've evolved to at least pretend it's OK for women to openly yearn for some sexual healing. Let us begin by expressing our frustration with the double standards we still deal with today. If you are a guy and hook-up all the time, you're a porn-star and it's a good thing; while a woman in the same situation would be a full-fledged hussy.

     So this one goes out to all those ladies who still need a little help catching up to the times. There is nothing wrong with getting a little sumpin'-sumpin', as long as you do it tastefully. Here are some tips that are often overlooked, but will help you in your hooking endeavors.

1. Hooking-up is all about attitude. Remember this about your prey, they are:

a) not as intelligent as we are

b) also looking for luvin'

c) often mistaken for walking, talking vibrators

You must realize that they are at our mercy, and not the other way around. A girl can withhold sex, while a guy would rip the hair out of his legs one by one before he refused any kind of sexual proposal. Knowing these truths is essential for a successful night out.

2. You have to realize that it isn't about what you wear; it's how you wear it (take it from the champs, cleavage never hurt anyone). As long as you're comfortable with flaunting your assets, looking hot is inevitable.

3. One word ­ undergarments. No guy wants to be reminded of Grandma big drawers while trying his best to be Rico Suave. At least on the weekends, sport a matching set of bra and panties to entice your prey. For the love of God, we know you all love your booty pants, but please take the time to pick up a thong to keep people looking at your booty and not your panty lines (going Commando is also an option).

4. Keep your shit clean. You know how you hate to kiss a scruffy beard. Take from that what you will.

5. You think he's hot, you're not going to lie about it... you've had a few beers, so work that ass. Don't be afraid to make the first move. Just because guys are born with balls doesn't mean that they actually know how to use them.

     As ladies that have seen our share of failed and successful hooking, we would like to offer you this advice. Hooking up can be anywhere from a French kiss to the Funky Fandango, just be sure your partner knows your definition. We're not lobbying for the campus to become a breeding ground for wild orgies, it's just time for ladies to stop feeling like they are giving up ass... and realize that they should be getting ass.